in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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