The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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