He felt like a one man threesome
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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