He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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