Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
im holly from the hills drunk
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
