I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
