so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
