remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we made out on top of his cat.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
you never un-have a 4some
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
