What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
