Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
