How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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