im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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