Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
This house was built for laser tag.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
