I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize