my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
