Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
