when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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