Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am puke
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
