Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
