you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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