dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
