Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
