I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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