remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
