I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
