I intend to get homeless drunk
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
