my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
