also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
