I must be too annoying 4 u.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
