he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize