so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
