Don't make out with my wife yet
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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