you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
