If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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