Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
