all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
