oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
