I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
