You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
