It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
