ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
