I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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