My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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