I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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