I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
