You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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