you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
