She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
