I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
