If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize