Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
