i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
