You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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