would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
