Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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