I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
