He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
