so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
